That's me ... struggling to be patient
I love my kids completely but I have to admit some days I just want to scream at them
We have a pretty similar morning routine
We eat breakfast together and then the kids have to go to the toilet, brush their teeth and get dressed.
Its the same thing every day, it shouldn't come as a surprise to them that I am about to say it but every day it is a battle with at least one of them.
Either Edie wants to pick endless outfit changes, Joe cant find his socks, Maggie says she has brushed her teeth when she hasn't, apparently you can sleep all night and not need to go to the toilet in the morning, did you know that .. well Miss Edie will tell you that is exactly what she can do.
And then once we get through that start to the day ... I already feel like I am running on empty.
Empty patience.
So when the kids say "mum can you please read me a book / play lego / help me do craft / sing the song that we sang 125 times yesterday, I want to say
"NO I want to just sit in the sunshine and drink a cup of tea"
(and there are times when that is exactly what I do) but I try and say "sure no problem"
And just get on with it,
But sometimes it's just hard.
And I know with winter days coming our way I am going to have to restore my patience somehow as we will be doing lots of rainy day indoor activities ... but how does one do that?
Find patience that you just don't have?
My husband is very patient
But he also doesn't care if beds get made / if we have any food / what the kids wear and if he has to put the same pair of shoes on and off one of the kids 6 or 7 times
He is at ease with it all
Me ... not so much.
We have 3 rules in our house
To listen
Use your manners
And be kind to everyone
And all in all my kids are great kids, other parents always tell me so, and I think that they are going up to be such lovely little individuals, but how do I learn to just stop, to be present, to not give a shit about my bed being made (especially to let my house be messy if a friend comes over?)
How do I just breathe, take it easy and be so patient that if my kids want me to do rolly pollys across the front yard that is what I will do?
How does one find balance between household chores and happy time with their kids?
Does it matter if my kids have yoghurt and fruit for dinner if it means we have played for 2 hours after school?
Does it matter if we wear dirty socks if it means that we all drew pictures together?
Does it matter if my house is a pigsty when people come over if the kids are free and happy?
And while I know ... no its doesn't really matter, clean socks and a tidy house are important to me.
Is that the problem, what I am thinking is important doesn't really matter in the big scheme of things?
Is it time management?
If I do all of the chore type things that are important to me once the kids go to bed will I feel more patient during the day because the "jobs" wont be there? ...
So as you can see I am struggling just a bit
(But I am happy just in case that bit doesn't come across as you read this post!)
HELP!!
10 comments:
Oh lady, you poor thing, We all feel like this (not that I can really, properly relate, only having one pre-school child). It's amazing how having kids teaches us so much about ourselves. I knew a mum once who used to only buy pyjama-ery type clothes, which the kids wore to bed so they woke up dressed in the morning! Perhaps there are some nifty little time saving ideas for you out there somewhere. (Although not, I'm afraid, in my empty brain right now.) Kellie xx
Oh it's a tricky one isn't it, trying to balance it all. We have those same rules in our house, so important to me, but I feel at the moment i'm not spending enough time doing the playing and reading. something I need to change.
I guess what I am saying is, you're not alone. xx
Definitely not alone! No tips though sorry ;(
I hear you babe! I to feel that when my house is in order my life is in order. When it is not, I feel as though I'm losing control. As for tips, when I manage to prep for dinner in the arvo or even manage to precook it, I have such a nice, relaxed and care free time with the kids. But it does take organizing which dose not happen all the time either. I think you are doing a fantastic job! Just remember to breath.......
Oh lovely! You have pretty much summed up the thoughts racing around my mind, here on your blog post... you clever mind reader you!
I struggle with this patience thing on a daily basis. The past few weeks have been particularly rough and I have felt like I am just treading water to keep from drowning.
My instant reaction when things get like this... change them! SO, I am trialling NO day naps for Felix... which has it's own downfalls, but it's making the other end of the day more bearable. And goodness knows, I really need that end of the day to calm the hell down. Those hours from dinnertime to bedtime were dragging out and becoming more angst ridden by the minute. It's only day 3 of it though, so we'll see.
Unfortunately I think patience is something that's built in. All we can do is try hun... and you're doing a stella job Mama xoxo
Thank you for expressing the battle that plays out oh so often in my head.
Without my home in order I feel I am losing control. I'm not sure if it stems from having three children and a husband who works long hours - gone at breakfast and returning sometime after all kids fed and bathed - that I've developed what I believe to be 'survival
Mode' or something. When laundry is sorted, dinner prepped or at least though about with ingredients purchased and things apperaring tidy I feel I am ready for anything (this includes late afternoon swim lessons and soccer practice and my late after school pick ups on work days).
Thankfully my kids love playing together and entertain each other most of the time. But I definately chant in my head often: BE PRESENT. I know kids will remember the games, the fun, the attention and the love. Not that their childhood floor was sparkling and their clothes smelt fresh and line dried! It's hard though when my brain argues with the mess my eyes see! Sorry for no words of wisdom (and the ramble!) but I wanted to let you know you are not alone x
I had in my head a little comment about how much I can relate to this and how much I struggle with the noise in my house at the moment...and then I saw Zac peeking out from under the comment box...and I couldn't remember what I was going to say and I'm sure it wasn't important anyway.
Big love lovely lady. xx
Now isn't this the best part of blogging - being able to get your worries and stresses off your chest without exploding and going crazy, and seeing that others out there relate to you , that you're not the only one going through shit!
We, as mothers, will always find something to feel guilty about.
Feel good, you are great!
Rach x
It's the same for all Moms, I suppose. I guess it is the cycle of joy and madness that makes motherhood a unique experience. My only tip for you, knowing that there is nothing you can do to escape this cycle, is to inhale-exhale ;-) You have an amazing group of followers who understand you and are right now cheering you on.
Hi, nice to meet you, parenting is definently a lot of trial and error isnt it?! It sounds like you are a great mum to me!
Laura x
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